I Don't Know

My life at this moment is different than I thought it would be.  It is full of changes yet in limbo, on hold if you will. Kind of like looking out into the vast world knowing you are about to step into it but not sure exactly what the world has in store for you.

Not long ago Brian and I took a huge leap of faith. After four awesome years at our church Brian gave his resignation to follow God's will for our lives. He enrolled in New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, NOBTS, to pursue his doctorate.

I couldn't be more proud of my husband for making this hard decision. He chose to follow God's will despite the fear of the unknown. But God has been there. He has revealed exactly what we need and what we need to know and when we need to know it. So we wait and we trust. We wait until He says move and we trust even when we don't know what is going on.

God has been working all of this together from the beginning. He has been orchestrating our lives and paving the way for us to follow Him for some time and not too long ago He said it's time. We made the decision knowing very little, we may know more now but we still don't know much. A good friend said to me this morning that I seem to "don't know" more than we "know". So why aren't we freaking out? Why aren't we running around trying to figure it all out? Honestly I don't know, it is so beyond my abilities and understanding.

We are handling all of this change and all of this unknown through faith. Not faith that we have earned or that we have developed, because that isn't how faith works. We are pressing on through the faith that only God can give. He has blessed us with abundant faith, faith that can handle all the "don't knows". 

Our amazing BSF speaker said last night, "we don't have to have it all figured out we just have to love Jesus".  So I don't have it all figured out, when you ask me questions about our move or if Brian will have a new job, or what we are going to do after he graduates I will tell you "I don't know". But you know what I don't have to know, I don't need all the answers, and I don't need to have it all figured out. All I need to do is love Jesus, and boy oh boy do I love Jesus.

So here I am loving Jesus through the known and the unknown.