Parenting

Parenting. What can I say about parenting that hasn't already been said. Probably nothing...but I'm not going to let that stop me from trying. Lately I've had a realization about parenting. I'm not really sure if you can call it a realization since it is something I tend to "realize" every so often.

I love my children. I love them in ways I have no words to describe. I love them in ways that make me burst into tears in the most random moments in life. But man oh man do they drive me bonkers. For example, each week I take my girls to the library. (Now keep in mind we have been going to the library every week since Mabry was around 2.5 years old so it's not like they have never been in a library before.) Before entering the library I take a moment to remind the girls of what is expected of them while we are in the library (walking instead of running, inside voices instead of outside voices, listening during story time, being kind to others, etc.). Fast-forward to us in the library, Maggie is running (away from me mind you), when I catch up to her she screams and throws herself on the floor. Mabry refuses to sit up and listen to the story and goes as far to turn her back to the librarian to show her disinterest. Color me embarrassed.

You know that emoji with the lady doing the face palm....that was created for me.

I am frustrated, embarrassed, sad, and probably 5 more emotions I can't even put into words. But I held it together, I didn't scream (even though I wanted to blow my top), I didn't spank (even though it was my initial reaction). I just repeatedly reminded them how to behave, removed them from certain situation for a one on one and or time out, and then explained to them when we left why their behavior wasn't acceptable.

Sure I did okay on the outside but on the inside I was a mom ready to explode. I was ranting to myself after the girls went down for their naps and it hit me. This is exactly what I am like with my Abba Father. God sets the tone. He gives me His expectations and instructions for me, His child. None of what He says to me is foreign, He has told me before. I know what is expected of me yet I disobey, I rebel, I do my own thing, I act completely disinterested in what He has for me because I am too busy wrapped up in what I wanted for myself.

I know God loves me, I know He loves me with a love that is even greater than the love I have for my children. But I also know I must frustrate Him not because I'm bad but because I know better but don't choose better. I must make Him sad because I choose to make my own way even though it is a way that leads to me needing consequences to learn form my mistakes. Now I am no way saying I am like God but isn't parenthood an illustration of the relationship between us and God? Why can't I have as much patience and grace for my precious little girls, who I know are ultimately only mine on loan because they were His first an they will be His for eternity, as my Abba Father has for me?

Lord,
Thank You for my beautiful girls, thank You for their wit, self confidence, loving spirits. I am a better person and believer because You have blessed me with them and teach me through them. Lord guide me as I raise my girls. Help me to show them love and grace even when it's hard and especially when it hurts. Let my girls see You in me. Draw me closer to You so that I may lead them right along with me. I ask all of this in Jesus' name. Amen.