Suffering....its inevitable

So I am in this amazing Bible study called BSF, if you have never heard of it and want to know more please feel free to ask, it has been so life changing for me. My life was not changed just because of this study or the people I've met but because of the time I have spend with God. I made a commitment to part of this study, not a commitment to the leaders but a commitment to myself and God. I needed more of Him, I needed to get to know Him better and I needed His help in navigating life.

Last night we were discussing and listening to a wonderful lecture on Romans 8:18-26. Suffering was mentioned a lot, I mean if you read Romans 8:18-26 you'll see why. Suffering is something we need to address because it is something that is real. As our lecture leader put it "it's the new normal". The world wasn't created to have suffering, we did that. After the first sin darkness entered the world and our world has been suffering ever since.

I agreed with the words of wisdom spoken last night, I even took detailed notes because I knew that although at that very moment I was not experiencing suffering I knew it was coming. Well today it came. My heart hurts, I'm angry (a mixed of righteous and self righteous I'm sure), I'm at a loss for words. I am so grateful for my God orchestrating everything so that I would get His message about suffering last night, before my latest suffering even came.

Today I remind myself that "we are pressured in every way but not crushed; we are perplexed but not in despair; we are persecuted but not abandoned; we are struck down but not destroyed." (2 Corinthians 4:8-9) No amount of earthly suffering can break me. As the troubles of this world press in on me it is the Holy Spirit who dwells within me who presses back out.

Life is hard, suffering is to be expected, but you do not have to deal with it forever nor do you have to deal with it alone. Christ died so that we wouldn't be stuck with our suffering forever and it is through His death that we are gifted with the Holy Spirit who gives us the ability to withstand suffering. "Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory." (2 Corinthians 4:16-17)

These verses in 2 Corinthians 4 were so true to me last night, but today that are sweet comfort for my pain, and my soft place to land as I fall to my face to pray. But what on earth do you pray when your heart is hurting and your flesh is angry? I tried to pray, I tried to say the right words but they just wouldn't come out the way I meant them. So a clung to more truth "In the same way the Spirit also joins to help in our weakness, because we do not know what to pray for as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with unspoken groanings." (Romans 8:26) I didn't have the words to pray but I didn't need them. The Spirit knows my heart and knows His will so He will intercede for me. So there I sat next to Mags' bed (because she wanted mama to sit with her while she fell asleep and who am I to argue) and silently cried, I let my heart groan and I let the Holy Spirit take my groans to the Father for me.

I don't feel better than I did this morning, but I do feel better than I did 2 hours ago. I still hurt and feel the pains of suffering but I am comforted by the fact that I do not suffer alone, my suffering has a purpose, and my suffering is only momentary. All of this I praise my God for.