Change

Change. No one likes change. We are creatures of habit, we find comfort in the expected. Lately there has been a lot of change in our lives. Brian has changed jobs (well really gone from full time youth minister to full time student), we are changing locations, we have changed plans.

As parents our job is to make sure that our girls see these changes as exciting and fun. This isn't to lie to them because they are in fact exciting and fun, but they are also scary and filled with the unknown. We have done our best to focus on how following God's will may lead to changes, but they are changes that grow you closer to Him and bless you abundantly. So far so good. Sure we have our sad moments where Mae mentions how she will miss her friends or her room but overall she is excited for the adventure God has in store for us. We call this "happysad".

Overall our kids have handled the little changes so far and the talk of big changes on the horizon very well...until today. Today we experienced a change that caused a meltdown like we haven't seen in a long time. Today Mabry had her first "haircut". Seriously. Okay I use the word "haircut" but in fact it was only a trim (about an inch...maybe). I know I know the child is 4 and a half and we haven't cut her hair. To be completely transparent I wasn't thrilled with the idea of cutting her hair until about 2 months ago or so when the tangles pushed me over the edge. This poor child has the finest, easily tangled hair on the planet.

Brian and I began discussing if it was time to cut the hair. After a few tears from me I told him we wouldn't cut it until she had enough to donate. Now all I had to do was tell Mae. So one day I started telling her about the little boys and girls who get sick and lose their hair. My heart swelled as she immediately stopped me, mid rehearsed speech, and proudly suggested "Mom, mom we could cut my hair and give it to them!" *insert happy mom tears* I told her that was a great idea and that as soon as her hair was long enough we would do that.

After the initial idea I would mention it from time to time and she would get really nervous or upset stating "I don't' want to cut my hair today." This went on for a bit until we realized how long her hair would actually need to be in order to donate and I couldn't wait that long to get those tangle causing ends off. So today Brian made an appointment for himself and Mae. She was okay with it until we got to the salon. She cried as I got her out of the car. We talked, I explained it was only a little trim, we prayed for peace, then went inside. She was pouting but okay...that is until it was her turn. The sheer fear of the unknown took over and she screamed as if she was been hauled off to have a limb removed. This was embarrassing to me to say the least, but I just had to laugh. I apologized to those around and explained that my girl feels all the feels.

I went in there camera and all ready to capture this amazing first experience but alas she had different plans. She needed her mom. She wouldn't even sit in the chair (Have you ever tried to put a cat in a bathtub? It was about like that.), so I sat in the chair with her in my lap. My awesome hubby took on the role of photographer (even though he had never used my new camera) because he knew how much this meant to me. So there we sat, her face in my hands, forehead to forehead, her crying and me singing. And just like that it was over. She dried her eyes, said thank you and apologized for "fitting".

Honestly I was a little upset when we left, I had this image in my head of how this moment was supposed to go. I was a little embarrassed by my child's full display of emotions and worried I didn't get the photos I wanted because I wasn't the one with the camera. But as I had time to think and reflect God showed me some amazing things from this experience.

Change is hard but exciting. Being called to follow God is exciting. When you feel God call you to do something with your life it's this amazing high, it is a total mountain top experience. You are excited and can't wait to do this amazing thing. But then reality sets in. You start to realize in order to do what God has called you to do you must make some sacrifices. You must change, you must lose something you find comfortable to go out and do something uncomfortable. Often times we are all in when God calls us then try to slyly back out of it because it isn't exactly what we want for ourselves. We may get caught up in the moment and say we are all in when in reality we refuse to let go and lay our lives down at His feet. Mabry was all in for helping kids in need until the reality of her sacrifice set in. She still wanted to help but not as much as she wanted to stay comfortable. If you want to follow God's will you must be all in. You can't get excited for the good part then back out the second you realize it might not be comfortable.

Sometimes God's plans for us take time but in the mean time He will definitely prune us to better fulfill our purpose. Pruning isn't fun but it is necessary. Just like Mabry with her trim. It wasn't time for the "big cut" but there was some pruning needed. She was scared, she didn't know what to expect, she didn't want to go through with it but as her parent I knew it was for the best. I did everything in my power to reassure her and comfort her. I sat with her through it and she was able to find rest in me until it was done. God is our parent, He is our Abba Father. He knows pruning is uncomfortable, He knows we are scared and don't know what to expect. So He stays with us through it, He provides us with rest and peace until it is done.

So where is God calling you? Is He calling you down a new path or is He wanting you to be pruned to prepare you for a path He has for you later on? Either way don't let the fear of change over take you. Rest in Him allow Him to comfort you as He shapes you into He has called you to be.

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